Real Live College Guy Joe: Striking the Balance Between Being Too Forward & Playing Too Hard to Get - Part 1
Ever wonder what guys think, how to deal with them, or whether instead of listening to you they just imagine you naked? Our Real Live College Guy Joe will answer all your questions about men and relationships with wit, clarity, grace, and physical attractiveness (can you tell he wrote this intro himself?) all while imagining you fully clothed! Well, usually – he is a college guy.
How do you straddle the line between coming on too strong versus playing too hard to get? I've heard guys don't like it when you play too hard to get, but on the other hand you don't want to seem too available. I'm talking early stages with a guy, when maybe you meet at a party, then he texts you, then you meet up that weekend, or maybe go on a coffee date or something, and then are wondering whether to text him, or ask him on a second date, or try to meet up with him that weekend, etc. How do you navigate the waters of the early stages without either coming on too strong or playing too hard to get? I want him to know I'm interested but I don't want to seem so interested that he loses interest…
- Murky at Missouri
Whoa! Slow down there, Murky. You think you can just log into this website and start asking me questions like that? I haven't even met you! Do you want to, like, marry me or something?
That was an example of the kind of answer you will not get if you express interest in a guy. Not to say that you expressed interest in me by sending in your question. But there's always time to start. My point is that it's nice to be liked. Unless you're a known stalker-murder, a guy won't be thrown off just because you've taken a special interest in him.
Of course, there are some rules about how you should express your interest. These rules depend on the context of your interaction and what you want to get out of it, whether it is a date, a foot rub, or an experiment with autoerotic asphyxiation – or all three. First, I will discuss playing hard to get: when to do so, how much is too much, and how much I hate it. I will then do the same with coming on too strong. Aren't you excited? Whoa, cool it! Who do you think you are, getting all excited over my column and stuff? Jeez.
How do you straddle the line between coming on too strong versus playing too hard to get? I've heard guys don't like it when you play too hard to get, but on the other hand you don't want to seem too available. I'm talking early stages with a guy, when maybe you meet at a party, then he texts you, then you meet up that weekend, or maybe go on a coffee date or something, and then are wondering whether to text him, or ask him on a second date, or try to meet up with him that weekend, etc. How do you navigate the waters of the early stages without either coming on too strong or playing too hard to get? I want him to know I'm interested but I don't want to seem so interested that he loses interest… - Murky at Missouri
Whoa! Slow down there, Murky. You think you can just log into this website and start asking me questions like that? I haven't even met you! Do you want to, like, marry me or something?
That was an example of the kind of answer you will not get if you express interest in a guy. Not to say that you expressed interest in me by sending in your question. But there's always time to start. My point is that it's nice to be liked. Unless you're a known stalker-murder, a guy won't be thrown off just because you've taken a special interest in him.
Of course, there are some rules about how you should express your interest. These rules depend on the context of your interaction and what you want to get out of it, whether it is a date, a foot rub, or an experiment with autoerotic asphyxiation – or all three. First, I will discuss playing hard to get: when to do so, how much is too much, and how much I hate it. I will then do the same with coming on too strong. Aren't you excited? Whoa, cool it! Who do you think you are, getting all excited over my column and stuff? Jeez.
