The 9 Love Lessons You Need to Know Now—Brought to you by the greatest love stories ever told - Part 2
Henry the 8th and all of his Wives—He's Not Gonna Change For You.
He's the one who created the Church of England because the Pope wouldn't let him divorce his wife. Probably responsible for coining the phrase "off with your head," Henry went through six wives trying to have a son. You feel bad for wives number one, two, and maybe three, but wife number six could have used my advice: Honey, he's not gonna change for you. Just like Henry, if your guy killed his first five girlfriends (or if they broke up with him because he wouldn't stop hooking up with random girls at the notoriously sketchy bar…whichever), what makes you think your relationship is going to be any different? Sorry, but the infamous sleaze probably isn't going to change his ways for you. He'd rather start a church
Jack and Rose—Let Go.
Hear me out before you post a scathing comment about how offensive this lesson is, given the circumstances: the story of Jack and Rose teaches an important lesson in letting go. Yeah, you may have had the college equivalent of a romantic sea voyage with a young Leonardo DiCaprio, but it's good to know when something is over, be able to say goodbye, actually let go, and then whistle for the nearest lifeboat. Trust me, it can be hard, but it can (literally) get you out of some pretty rocky waters.
Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren—Don't date a professional athlete.
No cutesy pun or wannabe-witty intro here. It's just a fact. Don't date a professional athlete.
Harry and Sally—Friends Make The Best Lovers
Your leading man might be less of a Clooney and more of a…Billy Crystal? Less appealing, I know, but remember how you felt when you were practically screaming at Sally to recognize what was right in front of her? Now take a step back and look for the Harrys in your life. They're charming. They're silly. They might be of average height and curly-haired instead of tall, dark and handsome, but they're the keepers. (As a general rule, the guy who gets you to fake an orgasm at a deli is probably 'the one.')
He's the one who created the Church of England because the Pope wouldn't let him divorce his wife. Probably responsible for coining the phrase "off with your head," Henry went through six wives trying to have a son. You feel bad for wives number one, two, and maybe three, but wife number six could have used my advice: Honey, he's not gonna change for you. Just like Henry, if your guy killed his first five girlfriends (or if they broke up with him because he wouldn't stop hooking up with random girls at the notoriously sketchy bar…whichever), what makes you think your relationship is going to be any different? Sorry, but the infamous sleaze probably isn't going to change his ways for you. He'd rather start a church
Jack and Rose—Let Go.
Hear me out before you post a scathing comment about how offensive this lesson is, given the circumstances: the story of Jack and Rose teaches an important lesson in letting go. Yeah, you may have had the college equivalent of a romantic sea voyage with a young Leonardo DiCaprio, but it's good to know when something is over, be able to say goodbye, actually let go, and then whistle for the nearest lifeboat. Trust me, it can be hard, but it can (literally) get you out of some pretty rocky waters.
Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren—Don't date a professional athlete.
No cutesy pun or wannabe-witty intro here. It's just a fact. Don't date a professional athlete.
Harry and Sally—Friends Make The Best Lovers
Your leading man might be less of a Clooney and more of a…Billy Crystal? Less appealing, I know, but remember how you felt when you were practically screaming at Sally to recognize what was right in front of her? Now take a step back and look for the Harrys in your life. They're charming. They're silly. They might be of average height and curly-haired instead of tall, dark and handsome, but they're the keepers. (As a general rule, the guy who gets you to fake an orgasm at a deli is probably 'the one.')
