Real Live College Guy Joey: To-The-Point Answers to 4 New Questions About STD's, Texting And The Rules of Exclusivity
-Texting in Texas
In a society entirely dependent on technology for personal communication, I'm surprised more girls haven't thought to ask this before. Those tricky bastards called cell phones open up an entirely new can of ambiguous little worms. "Hit me with a text, it could go down. Hit me and I'll be around. Hit you with a text on the low, nobody will have to know." Jason Derulo's ode to text-flirtation and my fascination with his song notwithstanding, it's quite an accurate examination of the constant ambiguity that surrounds flirtatious texting.With whomever you're conversing with via text, there are a few pointed little examples that could help you figure out most guys' intentions. As emotionless robots, we men see the use of emoticons as a great way to drive a flirtation home without being seen as "weak" or "too emotional." Those damn "wink" faces or maniacally grinning "smiles" slam their way into the dialogue. Keep an eye out to see if he's leaving texts open to a response so as to keep the dialogue going. Check for instances where he may offer up a chance to continue the dialogue face-to-face. All of which indicate more than a passing infatuation with your mobile device.
2. For my entire first semester, I had been seeing and hooking up with the same guy. We told each other we were not hooking up with other people, but we weren't official. It always seemed that we went so well together and that we liked each other a lot. We used to talk almost every day. But during winter break, we stop talking almost completely. What does this mean, and how can guys change their mind so fast?
-Confused at Carleton
Any person lucky enough to have read this golden nugget-laden column of sorts will know how highly I think of girls stepping up for themselves. As great as things may have gone throughout the semester, some guys are intuitive enough to learn early that they can get the benefits of a relationship without the responsibilities of one if they play their cards right. Exhibit A being this dude. Even though YOU may have thought things were moving along swimmingly, it's entirely possible that once you were out of sight (and thus, out of mind) he didn't feel required to communicate with you. The best (Remember… Kirsten Dunst is my kryptonite) is in Bring It On with our main protagonist's relationship with her douche lord boyfriend. Because you weren't "official" it's possible he didn't feel required to keep in contact, regardless of the greatness of your situation. If you're really interested in this guy, keep that in mind now that you're back on campus and tell him that you're interested in taking things to the next level, and if he isn't… Then he needs to hike on up out of there.
3. How do you tell a guy you have an STD? And when?
-Infected at Indiana
My answer to this, my dear unfortunate friend, can go one of two ways. If for instance, this man is responsible for said infection… March your medicated ass over there immediately after you pick up the prescription and demand he pay for your medical bills and dump his ass as thoroughly hard as possible. However, if you ma'am are responsible for possibly passing this STD on, I suggest brightly lit and crowded public places to ease the tension and avoid a messy scene. Best of luck! Another word to the wise? I'm going to refrain from making light of this by borrowing from my vast arsenal of pop culture references and drive the point home to make sure you tell ANYONE YOU COULD POSSIBLY SLEEP WITH before said nookie session. No one wants that sort of salacious reputation…
4. How do/Should I tell a friend that I like him? I have liked him for a while, but I don't know what to do. I am afraid that if I tell him that I might ruin our friendship. I would rather have friendship instead of nothing.
-Bewildered at BC
The important thing to ask yourself here is whether you value said friendship more than any romantic liaison you could potentially have with this person. If for instance, you could never see yourself without them if you were to break up at some point… I suggest bucket loads of ice cream and a nice solid session with some lady friends. However, if you would rather risk it all than live in perpetual anxiety over what you may or may not have missed the boat on, you need to sit this guy down and tell him your feelings. It's hard to dish out advice on just HOW to go about telling him, as every friendship is different. Take a tip from Ryan Reynolds's ultimate "friends or more" classic, Just Friends and avoid acting the fool by being someone you're not. The most important thing to remember with scenarios like the aforementioned is that honesty really is the best policy. You're doing disrespect to your friendship by not being honest about your feelings.
