How Much Is Too Much? (a.k.a. Stop Stalking Boys)
Admit it. You've been checking your phone about every 30 seconds waiting for a text. You've walked by the frats four times today just to "get some exercise." You've even staked out a table at the main dining hall from 4-7 pm waiting for "no one in particular" to come get his daily dose of chicken fried rice from the Pan-Asian Cuisine station. Enough, already! Even the sneakiest of collegiettesTM can't hide it when they're head-over-heels-NUTS for a guy. There are subtler (and more effective) ways to show interest in that soccer-playing stud, and showing up at his dorm unannounced isn't one of them. So what constitutes SSB (Serious Stalking Behavior)?
Put the phone away, B!
| Too Much | Just Right | |
| The Early Stages (One Hookup or Less) | Texting him three times in one night to see what he's doing. | Responding coyly to his late night text with "ohh, sorry just turned in for bed. sweet dreams ;)" |
| The Casual Hookup (3-6 Encounters in the Past 2-3 Weeks) | Hanging all over him at a party, signaling all other girls to BACK OFF. | Making understated but intimate contact when you're talking to him (like resting your hand on his shoulder or arm), but then continuing to circulate throughout the room. |
| Delving into Dating (Hooking Up + At Least One Sober Hangout) | Texting him throughout the day to update him on what you're thinking about, who you saw today, what kind of nail polish you might apply… | Texting him when something reminds you of a funny inside joke you two have—it's the perfect "I'm thinking about you but I'm not obsessed" move. |
| On the Brink of Exclusivity (You Haven't Had "The Talk" But You Aren't Seeing Anyone Else) | Forcing "The Talk" without any real discussion, e.g.,: "So you're like basically my boyfriend, right???" | Casually mentioning you haven't been seeing anyone else. If he wants to make the move to an exclusive relationship, he should take the conversation from there. |
| He's Your Boyfriend (Woohoo!) | Saying "Oh my God I can't wait for you to meet my Mom!!" two weeks into the relationship. | Introducing him around to your friends the next time you're all out together—he'll feel like a stud (you're showing him off!) and it's a low-pressure sitch. |
Keep it casual like Lauren and Kyle!
So there you have it girls—never fall into the stalking rut again! A collegietteTM stays cool, calm, and collected in the face of unadulterated cuteness . . . let him come to you.
