Real Live College Guy Joey: To-The-Point Answers to 4 New Questions About STD's, Texting And The Rules of Exclusivity
-Texting in Texas
In a society entirely dependent on technology for personal communication, I'm surprised more girls haven't thought to ask this before. Those tricky bastards called cell phones open up an entirely new can of ambiguous little worms. "Hit me with a text, it could go down. Hit me and I'll be around. Hit you with a text on the low, nobody will have to know." Jason Derulo's ode to text-flirtation and my fascination with his song notwithstanding, it's quite an accurate examination of the constant ambiguity that surrounds flirtatious texting.With whomever you're conversing with via text, there are a few pointed little examples that could help you figure out most guys' intentions. As emotionless robots, we men see the use of emoticons as a great way to drive a flirtation home without being seen as "weak" or "too emotional." Those damn "wink" faces or maniacally grinning "smiles" slam their way into the dialogue. Keep an eye out to see if he's leaving texts open to a response so as to keep the dialogue going. Check for instances where he may offer up a chance to continue the dialogue face-to-face. All of which indicate more than a passing infatuation with your mobile device.
2. For my entire first semester, I had been seeing and hooking up with the same guy. We told each other we were not hooking up with other people, but we weren't official. It always seemed that we went so well together and that we liked each other a lot. We used to talk almost every day. But during winter break, we stop talking almost completely. What does this mean, and how can guys change their mind so fast?
-Confused at Carleton
Any person lucky enough to have read this golden nugget-laden column of sorts will know how highly I think of girls stepping up for themselves. As great as things may have gone throughout the semester, some guys are intuitive enough to learn early that they can get the benefits of a relationship without the responsibilities of one if they play their cards right. Exhibit A being this dude. Even though YOU may have thought things were moving along swimmingly, it's entirely possible that once you were out of sight (and thus, out of mind) he didn't feel required to communicate with you. The best (Remember… Kirsten Dunst is my kryptonite) is in Bring It On with our main protagonist's relationship with her douche lord boyfriend. Because you weren't "official" it's possible he didn't feel required to keep in contact, regardless of the greatness of your situation. If you're really interested in this guy, keep that in mind now that you're back on campus and tell him that you're interested in taking things to the next level, and if he isn't… Then he needs to hike on up out of there.
3. How do you tell a guy you have an STD? And when?
-Infected at Indiana
My answer to this, my dear unfortunate friend, can go one of two ways. If for instance, this man is responsible for said infection… March your medicated ass over there immediately after you pick up the prescription and demand he pay for your medical bills and dump his ass as thoroughly hard as possible. However, if you ma'am are responsible for possibly passing this STD on, I suggest brightly lit and crowded public places to ease the tension and avoid a messy scene. Best of luck! Another word to the wise? I'm going to refrain from making light of this by borrowing from my vast arsenal of pop culture references and drive the point home to make sure you tell ANYONE YOU COULD POSSIBLY SLEEP WITH before said nookie session. No one wants that sort of salacious reputation…
4. How do/Should I tell a friend that I like him? I have liked him for a while, but I don't know what to do. I am afraid that if I tell him that I might ruin our friendship. I would rather have friendship instead of nothing.
-Bewildered at BC
The important thing to ask yourself here is whether you value said friendship more than any romantic liaison you could potentially have with this person. If for instance, you could never see yourself without them if you were to break up at some point… I suggest bucket loads of ice cream and a nice solid session with some lady friends. However, if you would rather risk it all than live in perpetual anxiety over what you may or may not have missed the boat on, you need to sit this guy down and tell him your feelings. It's hard to dish out advice on just HOW to go about telling him, as every friendship is different. Take a tip from Ryan Reynolds's ultimate "friends or more" classic, Just Friends and avoid acting the fool by being someone you're not. The most important thing to remember with scenarios like the aforementioned is that honesty really is the best policy. You're doing disrespect to your friendship by not being honest about your feelings.
10. A classic card- Whether you've been dating for a while and want to tell him how you feel or haven't been dating long at all but want to show you care, a card goes a long way. Get out the construction paper, doilies and stamps and get artsy. For amazing card ideas, check out 
19. Get drunk! (just kidding)- While getting drunk on V-day is probably not the best idea, making Valentine's Day-themed cocktails with your boyfriend is a fun and festive way to celebrate the day. Make each other drinks post-dinner; after all, ending Valentine's Day with a homemade 
1. Be a snow bunny- I know, I know, we're all tired of freezing every time we step outside and slipping on ice when we walk to class. But few things are as romantic as playing in the snow with your boyfriend on Valentine's Day. Channel your inner 10 year old and head outside for a snowball fight and snow angels—I'm sure your man will be happy to keep you warm. 
2. Dress the part- The easiest way to spread Valentine's cheer is to go elementary school and wear pink and red. Meet your boyfriend for a day date in fitted jeans and a pink top or sport a red mini for your night together. For after hours, try 
5. (Or skinny dipping) - If ice skating is too tame and your school is in a sunny place, many HCers recommend nighttime skinny-dipping. Seriously, not much is hotter than a steamy late night swim. Just be careful please, getting caught for trespassing might kill the mood. 
The Location Equation: Don't change his plans, but if you're the decider, keep this in mind. 
Usually, these small annoyances can be overlooked with time and her traits can be chalked up to her personality type. Most things are forgivable and easily forgotten, but not all problems can be overlooked. Gum smacking may be tolerable, but smacking a big fat one on your boyfriend certainly is not. 
Instead of under-the-table texting, try under-the-table kissing. Much hotter.
"Last week I went on a date with a guy who thought he had the whole world figured out and it came off annoying and condescending. He told me this story about how two guys tried to convert him to Christianity and he was disturbed when they stopped being nice after he said no. He hated people trying to convert him but for the rest of the date he tried to convert me to his entire way of life: his sleep schedule, his athleticism, his love of reading, his politics, his lack of religion. The list goes on." 
"For the most part my relationship with my ex-boyfriend (Will*) was a good one, but one of the main issues was the fact that his ex (Victoria*) was still in the picture. Victoria was his very close family friend and from the beginning Will made it very clear that she was still important to him- not in a romantic way, but as a friend. It started becoming a problem, though, when he didn't want Victoria and me to mix. He would choose between us, and she was his pick a lot of the time. For example, last New Years I invited him to come visit and stay at my house because I really wanted to spend that evening with him. He said maybe, but later informed me that he was going up to Reno to spend the holiday with his family and Victoria's family. When the ball dropped that night I called Will and he told me he was at a frat party in Reno with Victoria. Not exactly the family time he told me would be happening. That was pretty much the last straw and after a year of dating Will and I broke up a few weeks later. Even though he didn't want to choose between Victoria and me, he ended up doing just that." 
While Ari is married and surprisingly faithful to his former actress/model wife (known only as Mrs. Ari), he often talks about his previous sexual encounters and tries to exploit them for personal gain. Most significantly, Ari takes advantage of a previous fling with Dana Gordon, a studio executive, by threatening to publish a sex tape they had made if she didn't help him get Vince a job. He also saved an inappropriate picture given to him by a former mailroom employee, and he sent it to her boyfriend when the two engaged in a prank war. 
In general, Entourage is all about male friendship and guys sticking together – an adult representation of "bros before hos," if you will. It's natural for a girl to want to come first in her boyfriend's life, but she should expect a guy's friends to be his top priority for awhile. Vince and the guys (with the exception of Ari) have been friends since they were kids, while the girls in their lives have come and gone. So the girls that they date have to understand that the guys come first, since they've been around much longer and have proven their loyalty over time. This can obviously cause contention with their girlfriends – Eric and Sloan initially broke up when he decided to take a spontaneous trip to Italy with the guys when she had expected him to come home – but we as girls should try to be as understanding as possible when it comes to a bromance. Again, think of this phenomenon in reverse – would you blow off an important event with a girlfriend for a guy you haven't been seeing for very long? Probably not.
For many guys who watch Entourage, Eric's on-and-off girlfriend Sloan (played by the stunning Emmanuelle Chriqui) is the perfect woman. She's charming and has an affectionate relationship with E when they're alone, but she's also down-to-earth enough to chill out with the guys at a sports bar. Better yet, she has a life outside of the relationship and doesn't freak out if an important meeting pops up for Eric or if he wants to hang out solo with his friends. (Also, did I mention that she's gorgeous?) When they're not together, Sloan maintains a friendly but distant relationship with him, engaging in pleasant conversation when they run into each other but avoiding phone calls and planned contact.
When the guys let Turtle take a first-class seat on a flight, he finds himself sitting next to Jamie-Lynn Sigler (the real actress that plays Meadow on The Sopranos, another guy favorite). She's just broken up with her boyfriend, but Turtle makes her laugh and they seem to hit it off – she even gives him her number after they land. But the guys don't believe Turtle when he says there was a spark, and they accuse him of lying or begging Jamie-Lynn to give her a fake number to impress them. Feeling defensive, Turtle lets the guys in on a secret – she gave him a hand job during the flight. The guys think this is impossibly hilarious and ask everyone from random waiters to Ari's staff members if they believe the story. Later that week, Turtle sees Jamie at a club and she throws a drink in his face, calling him a jerk for telling everyone about it.
