The Dump-O-Meter: The Worst Ways to Get Dumped, From Bad to Worse

Getting dumped is the absolute pits.  We've all been kicked to ye olde curb at least once in our lives (thanks a heap, Doug*, you crushed my fifth grade spirit), and it is never a picnic.  It is really the nature of the dumping, however, that determines the moroseness of the dumpee.  I believe the calculus is something like [(douchebag + new girlfriend) – thoughtfulness] x (# of times "it's not you" mentioned) = # of pints Ben and Jerry's consumed; but hey, math was never my strong suit.  If you'd like to think about it more linearly, here's my list of ways to be dumped, from bad, to worse . . . to worst.

*name changed to protect the not-so-innocent

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