Real Live College Girl Cassidy: The Best Gifts & "Do These Pants Make Me Look Fat?"
Ever wanted to get inside a girl's mind? Want to know whether all girls are crazy, or if you just don't quite understand them (hint: it's the 2nd one…)? Luckily, Real Live College Girl Cassidy is here to answer all your questions about women and relationships, with poise, charisma, and a little bit of humor. And don't worry, she won't judge you on your questions… unless you seem cute. Collegiettes™: pass this onto your guy friends!
Do girls really want us to be honest when we are asked, "do these pants make me look fat?"
– Curious in Canada
Girls like honest boys. If you ask girls what qualities they look for in a boy, most would list "honesty" as one of the top 10.
That said, probably higher on that top 10 list is "kindness," or "consideration," or something nice like that. And, frankly, sometimes honesty interferes with being kind and considerate. If your girlfriend does look fat in those pants, please don't tell her the truth. Girls are very observant of their own bodies, so she probably already knows how she looks in those pants, so you don't need to reinforce it. I hate to admit it, but we girls sometimes like to fish for compliments (surprise, right?). And this is one of those times. If we ask you if we look fat in something, it's probably because we think we look fat, and we want you to tell us otherwise. So tell us we look beautiful, tell us our butt looks great (the only negative thing you're allowed to say in this situation is that we'd look better without the pants on…). Because if you don't think those things, then why are you dating us?
Side note: This does not mean that if you do something "unkind" or "inconsiderate," that you should lie about that. For example, if you cheat on your girlfriend, don't lie about it. Lying is only ok when it comes to your girlfriend's pants, not another girl's.
What's a better present to get for a girlfriend: something cute/meaningful or something expensive and shiny?
– Over-thinking at Oregon
This is a good question, especially for this time of year, because, guess what? Valentine's Day is just around the corner! I was shopping yesterday (see, I really am a real live college girl!), and noticed that there were pink and red heart decorations everywhere! So although the "Holiday Season" may have just ended, all you taken guys still have one more holiday to go (so hopefully you saved up at least a couple bucks from your Christmas shopping…!), sorry.
Definitely don't tell your girlfriend she looks fat in those pants when she's about to give you a present!
Unfortunately, I can't completely accurately answer your question without knowing your girlfriend. Because, really, it depends on the girl. Personally, I prefer "cute/meaningful" presents, rather than really expensive things, because they prove that your relationship is something special. To me, it's super easy (besides the saving up money part…) for you to walk into a store and buy an expensive necklace, then wrap it up and give it to me. You could do that for any girl. It takes much more effort to think of a gift that would really mean something to me, personally, and then make it or put it together or whatever you need to do. Knowing that you spent time on it, rather than a bunch of money, means much more to me.
One of my favorite things I've ever received from a boyfriend was for Valentine's Day a few years ago. It was a photo album with pictures of us inside from our first year together (Valentine's Day also happened to be our 1-year anniversary), with notes about the things we were doing in the pictures (NOT dirty things!), and a loving note at the end. Then he gave me another empty photo album and said that one was for us to fill with pictures that we take in our next year of dating. It was adorable, and sweet, and it clearly took time for him to think of the idea and put it together. Another one of the best things a boy has ever given me was a pair of shoes! No, not some fancy expensive high heels. They were Vans – Velcro to be specific – and he had drawn all over them with patterns and words that related to me and that I would like! I still wear those shoes a ton (and isn't that the point? To give someone something they can get use out of?). So to both of those boys, if you guys are reading this, thank you again!
My personalized shoes! and no, I don't hate snowboarding... I actually love it!
Just think of Jim and Pam on The Office. If they would give the present to each other, it's probably a safe bet.
That said, it's a completely different ballgame if your girlfriend is more high maintenance than I am, and likes designer clothes and expensive shiny things… but if that's the case, you probably already know that, because you know your girlfriend much better than I do. And if that were your case, you probably wouldn't have asked this question, because you'd already know the answer. So I'd stick with the adorable, meaningful gifts.
On a side note, it is never ok to give your girlfriend a box of chocolates for Valentine's Day… unless you're giving her something else more interesting in addition to that… sorry, I'm just bitter. Also, gift cards aren't very thoughtful or exciting either. Then we have to do all the work ourselves!
Do girls really want us to be honest when we are asked, "do these pants make me look fat?"
– Curious in Canada
Girls like honest boys. If you ask girls what qualities they look for in a boy, most would list "honesty" as one of the top 10.That said, probably higher on that top 10 list is "kindness," or "consideration," or something nice like that. And, frankly, sometimes honesty interferes with being kind and considerate. If your girlfriend does look fat in those pants, please don't tell her the truth. Girls are very observant of their own bodies, so she probably already knows how she looks in those pants, so you don't need to reinforce it. I hate to admit it, but we girls sometimes like to fish for compliments (surprise, right?). And this is one of those times. If we ask you if we look fat in something, it's probably because we think we look fat, and we want you to tell us otherwise. So tell us we look beautiful, tell us our butt looks great (the only negative thing you're allowed to say in this situation is that we'd look better without the pants on…). Because if you don't think those things, then why are you dating us?
Side note: This does not mean that if you do something "unkind" or "inconsiderate," that you should lie about that. For example, if you cheat on your girlfriend, don't lie about it. Lying is only ok when it comes to your girlfriend's pants, not another girl's.
What's a better present to get for a girlfriend: something cute/meaningful or something expensive and shiny?
– Over-thinking at Oregon
This is a good question, especially for this time of year, because, guess what? Valentine's Day is just around the corner! I was shopping yesterday (see, I really am a real live college girl!), and noticed that there were pink and red heart decorations everywhere! So although the "Holiday Season" may have just ended, all you taken guys still have one more holiday to go (so hopefully you saved up at least a couple bucks from your Christmas shopping…!), sorry.
Definitely don't tell your girlfriend she looks fat in those pants when she's about to give you a present!
Unfortunately, I can't completely accurately answer your question without knowing your girlfriend. Because, really, it depends on the girl. Personally, I prefer "cute/meaningful" presents, rather than really expensive things, because they prove that your relationship is something special. To me, it's super easy (besides the saving up money part…) for you to walk into a store and buy an expensive necklace, then wrap it up and give it to me. You could do that for any girl. It takes much more effort to think of a gift that would really mean something to me, personally, and then make it or put it together or whatever you need to do. Knowing that you spent time on it, rather than a bunch of money, means much more to me.
One of my favorite things I've ever received from a boyfriend was for Valentine's Day a few years ago. It was a photo album with pictures of us inside from our first year together (Valentine's Day also happened to be our 1-year anniversary), with notes about the things we were doing in the pictures (NOT dirty things!), and a loving note at the end. Then he gave me another empty photo album and said that one was for us to fill with pictures that we take in our next year of dating. It was adorable, and sweet, and it clearly took time for him to think of the idea and put it together. Another one of the best things a boy has ever given me was a pair of shoes! No, not some fancy expensive high heels. They were Vans – Velcro to be specific – and he had drawn all over them with patterns and words that related to me and that I would like! I still wear those shoes a ton (and isn't that the point? To give someone something they can get use out of?). So to both of those boys, if you guys are reading this, thank you again!
My personalized shoes! and no, I don't hate snowboarding... I actually love it!
Just think of Jim and Pam on The Office. If they would give the present to each other, it's probably a safe bet.
That said, it's a completely different ballgame if your girlfriend is more high maintenance than I am, and likes designer clothes and expensive shiny things… but if that's the case, you probably already know that, because you know your girlfriend much better than I do. And if that were your case, you probably wouldn't have asked this question, because you'd already know the answer. So I'd stick with the adorable, meaningful gifts.
On a side note, it is never ok to give your girlfriend a box of chocolates for Valentine's Day… unless you're giving her something else more interesting in addition to that… sorry, I'm just bitter. Also, gift cards aren't very thoughtful or exciting either. Then we have to do all the work ourselves!
