Women Campus | Hello beautiful!: STDs in College: Your Questions Answered - part 4

I have an STD, and I have a boyfriend/girlfriend. Is my life over?

No, but here's a story of a girl who went through a pretty rough diagnosis:

When Sarah* was a freshman at the University of Oregon, she had a handsome athletic boyfriend. They dated for quite some time and were deeply in love until things got a little rocky. One weekend when she was at a party, Sarah decided to step into dangerous territory, and had sex with an acquaintance. Not being able to really remember what had happened that night, she decided to ignore the situation and not tell her boyfriend she had cheated.

A month later, she went to her annual pap smear at the student health center. Everything seemed normal and healthy according to the doctor, until she got a phone call the next day.

"The nurse called me and told me I had gonorrhea. My heart dropped. I knew I had to tell my boyfriend, who obviously wasn't infected, and the truth would unravel about the night I cheated," explained Sarah.

Not only did she have to tell her boyfriend the heartbreaking news, but she also had to tell the person she had cheated with.

"I had to make sure they both knew to take the medicine to cure the STD. It was definitely a hard conversation to have, but those are the consequences I guess."

Luckily, gonorrhea is easily treated and cured with simple antibiotic procedures. For Sarah, it was a hard-learned lesson that awareness is key to preventing a potential sticky situation.

"I didn't even think to ask if the guy I had sex with had an STD. Now I know, even though I'm still with the same boyfriend, to ALWAYS ask no matter how much you think you trust someone."

How do I tell my partner(s) I'm infected?

For the sake of your personal health, it is extremely important to tell your partner(s). "If you chicken out and don't tell your partner, it is very likely you'll get the infection back. Approximately 20% of people who have Chlamydia and gonorrhea get it again within the next year. That increases the chance of complications and probably shows that partners are not being informed and treated," says Elliott.

The smartest way to avoid contracting the STD again is to make sure that your partner(s) are receiving the same treatment as you; otherwise you will just pass the infection back and forth.

We know this can be a tricky task, but there are multiple ways you can tell your partner(s) you have an STD, and that they might need to seek treatment as well.

An easy way to go about this is to have the health clinic where you were tested call your partner and inform them. Not many people know this is an option, but if you are trying to avoid having the conversation, this is an uncomplicated route! Of course you will have to talk about it eventually, but at least you have the hard part out of the way.

Another option is to send a confidential ecard from www.inspot.org. This service allows people to send an anonymous ecard telling their partner(s) they've been exposed to an STD.

Of course, for those courageous enough, just simply start the conversation. Remember that by telling them you are allowing them to be conscientious of their health and limiting the risk of spreading the infection.

Sometimes I feel awkward asking if my partner(s) are infected, especially if I don't know them. What are some casual ways I can ask?

We took a survey of anonymous college students across the country and here's how they ask the question before hitting the sheets with a new guy:

"I ask them up front, no point in beating around the bush when it comes to my health!"

"I offer to go get tested together. That way he doesn't feel offended or anything."

"If it is a random guy, I just say, 'So, you're clean right?'"

"I say I just got tested and ask if they have."

"I would just ask my partner flat out – if we can't be honest about that then we shouldn't be having sex."

Sources

Annabeth Elliott, RN, MSN – Idaho STD Program Coordinator

Dr. Pierre-Paul Tellier - Director, Student Health Services at McGill University

Dr. Mandi Beman - board-certified Obstetrician/Gynecologist & contributor to www.chickrx.com

Various college students