A College Guy Answers Your Love Life Questions: First Dates And Freaky Sex

Got a burning love life q? Consult our Real Live College Guy (he also goes by Chase). Each month, our RLCG will take you inside the college guy's brain to demystify your tricky, sticky, icky love (can you even call it that?) situations. Keep in mind that these are his opinions, not HC's.

Ready? Here goes!

I think I have a great personality and a lot to offer, and guys who know me often end up liking me, but I feel like I don't do a good job of representing my "best self" on a first date. My first dates often don't go well and then I don't really hear from the guy again. What are some tips for girls on how to act on a first date to make it lead to a second one?
– Florida First Date Flopper

For guys to ask someone on a second date, it usually comes down to: Can I be myself? Is she not crazy? Is she hot? And is she interested? Clearly, you're focused too much on representing your "best self." Instead, spend the entire date (or a large part of it) allowing him to represent his "best self". An easy solution is to ask the guy questions about his life. Respond as if he was the second coming and every detail is overly interesting. If you can see that his confidence is built up, then you can take the opportunity to say something about yourself. Also, figure out some minor ways to give him an opportunity to mockingly flirt. Guys love to think that they are funny, especially when they're not. Let him have a moment to be funny and feel smart. You could not look both ways before crossing the street, make the move to cross, and let him "save your life." Be careful though, you don't want to get run over. This will give him the ability to be both the hero and funny. To avoid the crazy factor, don't do anything too wild. Avoid the karaoke, drinking too much, or screaming at the waiter. Act natural and composed and he won't be reminded of his crazy ex's screaming to him or making out with the bartender at his birthday dinner. Yet, you still want him to think you are fun, too. So remember to slip in a story about how fun you are, and if all else fails make one up. Talk about the time you were on The Jerry Springer Show or wrestled a gator, but make sure it's something he would be interested in hearing and related to one of his stories. Lastly, the end of the date. Make it subtly known that you are interested in seeing him again. It is hard for a guy to muster the confidence for date #2 when it's unclear if you like him. Slip a mild, "I had a great time tonight" or a "wow, this was so much fun." Don't act awkward, but keep a big smile and try and fake the confidence like he has already asked you on a second date. If he doesn't ask you right there and you boldly move in for that big smiling hug and cheek kiss, he will later... I promise.

Guys always say that they want girls to be uninhibited in the bedroom—to let loose, get wild, and suggest trying new things, etc. But before I go full-force freaky in the bedroom, are there things girls could do during a hook-up that would still be over the top, and would freak a guy out? How can we know "wow!" from "weird..."? –Feelin' Frisky at Fordham

Before going "full-force freaky" by breaking out the whips and costumes, girls can turn boring first-time sex into a special sexual experience through a few small changes. First, open up the passion. Scream louder, moan more often, and ask him to touch your writhing body (don't I sound poetic?). Nothing screams "wow" like seeing a girl go nuts. Second, take the initiative to get things going and let him enjoy. It's not too freaky to have a girl ask for sex blatantly and will relieve a lot of the male tension. You can take off both your own clothes and his. This could really create the "Wow! She's sexy" you're going for. No guy wants to feel like he is being too pushy, so a little initiative can go a long way. Hollywood movies show it the best—it's always awkward to have a big naked male actor all over some introverted girl, but reverse the roles and it's a hot scene. Lastly, avoid missionary at all costs and again, let him enjoy. Get on top, or switch positions a few times. There is nothing more inhibited than a girl who just lies there. Once you're ready to move on to the "freaky," it's important to ask the guy what he likes. Most will have a fantasy or two that he will really want played out. Ask him shamelessly, "What's your fantasy?" This will leave no room for "weird," but be careful because you may be getting yourself into some uncharted territory. At the very least, you can gather an idea of what gets him going and you can improvise a less extreme version from there. In the beginning, I would never just randomly start calling him Doctor or attempt The Triple Backside Reverse Babymaker unless he insinuates that's his thing.