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The Digital World Of Cheating: Facebook, Gchat, Texting, Sexting - Part 1

Here's a situation we can all relate to: you and your friends are out on the town for the night and a guy approaches you. You're flirting and chatting and you even end the night with a little bit of making-out-on-the-dance-floor action. You're totally smitten with this guy.

Later that week as you're walking to class (and thinking about him), you receive an alert on your iPhone or Blackberry from Facebook: the guy from last weekend wants to be friends.

It's an exciting, yet, potentially dangerous exchange.

At first, it's how you two begin to communicate. Every time you heard that bing-sound from Facebook chat you'd instantly hope it was him — and it usually was!

But fast forward the seven months you've been dating and here's your daily routine:

You wake up, check your e-mail, eat a banana, read Her Campus, check your Facebook and read on your newsfeed that Suzie Shmoo wrote on your boyfriend's wall at 10:32 p.m. last night.

"Suzie Shmoo. Who's Suzie Shmoo?" You think to yourself.

Your curiosity eats away at you, and after he leaves himself signed into Facebook on your computer, you snoop. And there's an entire message thread between your boyfriend and Suzie Shmoo.

"I'm really excited to watch The Social Network with you this Thursday night," she wrote in the Facebook thread. "Do you like red wine or white wine better?"

You're infuriated! He just told you tonight that he was going to a concert with his best friend Johnny on Thursday night, so you confront him. He's angry you snooped. You're angry he lied to you and has plans with Suzie Shmoo.

And you two break up.

Sound familiar? If so, you're not alone. And if this or a similar situation hasn't happened to you personally, Her Campus is here to help you if it ever does— or you can just read on to justify your own past snoop-like behavior.

We've heard the stories of over 65 collegiettes™ and talked to a relationship expert to find out if it's okay to go through your boyfriend's digital world, how to confront him about it if you don't like what you see, and how to recognize whether or not he's cheating. We also talked to college guys about their thoughts on digital cheating.
Read on!

A Snooper's Tale

Snooping. It's controversial and raises many questions. Are you being dishonest by going through his e-mail without him knowing? Does that make you just as "bad" of a person as he is if he has been doing something behind your back? Shouldn't there be privacy in a relationship? I say this because I've been a snooper who has had these exact same thoughts.

There were a couple of times in a past relationship when I went through my boy's phone and Facebook. Why? I was curious and in our long-distance relationship I couldn't help but feel insecure at times. Did I like what I saw? I guess. There was no Suzie Shmoo-business going on, but he was texting a girl he used to hook-up with before we started dating.

While it was "harmless," it bothered me that he was texting her behind my back. It also bothered him that I went through his phone without him knowing.

51 out of the 65 surveyed collegiettes™ admitted that at one time or another they've snooped. The most common snoop? Going through his cell phone. The second? Facebook.

Were these collegiettes™ happy with what they found? 20 said "yes" and 32 said "no."

Here are their tales: the good, the bad, and the ugly.

The Good

"Actually, at the time I suspected he was cheating and confronted him about it. He let me go through everything on his Facebook, granted he probably deleted things, but it ended up not being that big of a deal in the end." — Sarah*, sophomore, Arizona State University

"I chose to tell him [that I snooped] because it did kind of bother me. It was harmless, but he spends a bit too much time on his on-line gaming and that's what's irritating. I wanted to see what he was doing that was taking so much of his time." — Andrea*, senior, Western Michigan University graduate

"He was in the room with me at the time and when I did look around we merely laughed at all the posts as he told me about each one," — Mary*, junior, Michigan State University

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How to Stay Safe While Dating Abroad

Imagine this: you're in a bar, and a stunning Italian man walks over to you smiling. He reaches for your hand and nods in the direction of the dance floor. You're not up for dancing or leaving your friends, and kindly say "no, thank you" in your sweetest voice. He doesn't speak English, but says something in Italian insisting that you join him. Immediately you feel uncomfortable but aren't sure how to tell him no. After all, the only phrase you picked up in your Italian class was, "gelatoal cioccolatoper favore" (chocolate gelato, please).

With Love Abroad 101: The Rules of Dating Foreign Guys we gave you a few tips and tricks for attracting European guys. But, before that hookup gets you hooked into an uncomfortable situation, remember these rules for playing it safe, because whether you're turning down a drink, or asking how old he is, you want to get your message across correctly and safely.

Personal safety expert and coach, and President of Project Safe Girls, Anny Jacoby, helps us break it down by scenario.

If he buys you a drink…

And you accept it, he might think he gets to "spend the night" with you.

Elizabeth Wagmeister, HC Campus Correspondent at the University of California at Santa Barbara, was studying abroad in Barcelona when she learned of this foreign custom.

"A German man (probably around 25 years old) came up to me at the bar and bought me a drink. I didn't think much of it so I accepted the drink, and was just talking to him with my friends for a bit," she says. "Then he told me (straight to my face) 'I want to sleep with you tonight.'"

She ignored his comment, set the drink down, and moved to the other side of the bar. But the guy was persistent. He followed her and continued to insist they sleep together - not something that would normally pass as acceptable in the United States. Realizing he wasn't giving up, Elizabeth gathered up her friends and left the bar.

As much as we would like to get a free drink, to keep from getting in any awkward situations, Jacoby says, turn down a drink offer before he buys you one.

"We are always afraid we are going to hurt [guys'] feelings," she says. "But if you're not interested, just cut it off at the chase."

If it's too late, firmly tell him you don't want the drink, or to sleep with him. If he becomes clingy, or continues to follow you around the bar, like in Elizabeth's situation, collect your friends, and head someplace else. You can also tell security or the bartender that the person makes you feel uncomfortable (in Italian: scomodo, in German: unbequem, in Spanish: incómodo). Ask to be escorted out to be sure he doesn't follow you.

If you hookup…

Forget the idea of the old casual hookup from back home. In Europe, if you hook up with the same guy more than a few times, this may mean you're 'dating'. Don't be surprised if he expects to meet up the following few nights after hooking up at a club or bar, or acts as if you're already dating.

Dating, or the American idea of it, consists of meeting, going out to a restaurant or movie, and then ultimately making it official. This, 26-year-old Declan of Ireland says, rarely exists in Ireland. It's often much more casual. Things don't usually become 'official,' but if a girl shows any interest in a guy, it may be understood that they are together.

"Guys go out with their friends, inevitably, to the pub and try to 'score' as the saying goes," Declan says, "If that happens on, say, more than three times, you're dating."

The guy may be in the mindset that you're dating while you're thinking, "great hookup last night." Keep in mind that he could become upset, or not understand why you're dancing with or hooking up with another guy the following night. You would feel the same if your 2-month long hookup-buddy suddenly moved on to another girl without saying anything to you first!

Beware of this if you're not looking for anything serious, but want to hang out with a guy regularly. Make sure you're both on the same page about the relationship, and where it is headed. The best way to do that: use your translation dictionary. Learn the words for "relationship", "date", and "meet up". When the German guy calls you "freundin"know this means girlfriend, and not friend.

If you go on a date…

Always do lunch.

To European men, Elizabeth says, "dinner dates can often imply that you want to 'spend the night with him' as well."

As mentioned above, dating is often more casual in terms out of making things official. An invitation for dinner may be a "would you like to date?" in disguise.

To avoid this, suggest a restaurant or pub close to where you live, and have a friend tag along.

"Never go from point A to point B alone," says Jacoby.

Grabbing a coffee, rather than going out to dinner, also keeps things a bit more low-key.

If you stay in a hostel:

Youth hostels are convenient for their inexpensive prices and their provided food, which beats the excessive cost of renting a hotel room. Think of a hostel like a freshman dorm: common bathrooms in the hall, meeting random groups of people to go out with at night, and possibly ending the night with something very similar to dormcest.

"Everyone staying there is a student, young, and if they are there traveling in the first place, one might gather they are not tied down," Macey Hall, HC Campus Correspondent from the University of Maine says. "Every hostel I stayed in, my friends and I met guys, went out to bars and clubs with them, and some people inevitably ended up in the same beds."

Hostels, like dorms, are convenient for hooking up since everyone is in the same building. As you would in any situation, discuss with your roommates and make a group decision whether it is ok to bring guys back before you head out that night.

"Always be on the same page," Jacoby says. "And make locking doors a habit."

If a guy gets too pushy when you return to the hostel after a trip to the bars, find, or call security immediately, Jacoby says.

A good idea for any night, Jacoby suggests, is to have one or two people in your group of friends remain sober every night.

"If there's ever a problem, one could be calling security, and the other can help deal with the situation."

When staying in a hostel, make sure you know the number for the front desk, or security office, where the exits, stairs, and elevators are on your floor, and the basic rules concerning their overnight guest policy.

Just as you would in any situation back home, know your boundaries when it comes to guys. Stick with a group of friends, and keep your wits about you even while chatting with the most charming Brit. "Of course there's the excitement of being in another country, and experiencing the culture," Jacoby says, "but putting yourself in jeopardy is not worth it."

Jacoby's stay-safe tips for wherever you are:

Use the buddy system: Never go out at night alone, and even bring a girlfriend on a trip to the bathroom.
Look out for each other: Make sure everyone has an ID and cell phone before heading out. Have someone assigned to watch the drinks or purses if you want to dance, or go to the bathroom. Trade off throughout the night.
Be aware of your surroundings: Know where you are and who's around you.
Listen to your gut feeling: "Your intuition is your best friend. Listen to it, embrace it," Jacoby says.
Know your exit route: Check for exits as soon as you get into a club or pub. Know how to get out if you have to.
In the "worst-case scenario": Bring attention to the situation, and escape as quickly as possible—what Jacoby calls the Stun and Run.
Always have a cell phone with you: Check emergency numbers for your area, and any hotel or hostel you stay in. 112 is the European emergency number, reachable from any phone, free of charge.

Sources:
Anny Jacoby, personal safety expert and coach, President of Project Safe Girls
Declan, 26, Ireland, studying at Syracuse University
Elizabeth Wagmeister, Campus Correspondent, University of California at Santa Barbara
Macey Hall, Campus Correspondent, University of Maine

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Having "The Talk": How to Handle the Most Difficult Relationship Conversations

We need to talk. Four tiny and inconspicuous words, but when paired together they produce such a powerful and nerve-inducing sentence. The mere thought of hearing or saying them while in a relationship makes most of us want to run and hide under the covers –indefinitely. But ladies, lest you've forgotten, let us remind you: having "the talk" doesn't need to be so scary. With the help of Kim Olver, author of Secrets of Happy Couples, and Cassidy Brettler, one of HC's Real Live College Girls, we found out how to tackle five of the most difficult relationship discussions.

So, let's talk about talking, shall we?

The "Are We Exclusive?" Talk

In high school, my cousin and the guy she liked were driving home from school. He placed his hand in hers atop the middle glove compartment and a few minutes passed before he nervously uttered, "So, does this mean we're going out?" Needless to say, there are better ways to approach this intimidating topic.

What to Say: Cassidy suggests saying, "So, we've been hanging out a lot and I was just wondering what you think we are?" Or if you aren't wishing to be quite so direct, lead with, "What do you refer to me as when you talk to your friends about me?"

How to Deal: "If he says he isn't ready for exclusivity, that's alright. You then need to decide whether you want to wait for him to get ready, if he ever does, or move on to someone who would be more willing to give you what you want." Olver says. "If it's the guy you want, not just the idea of exclusivity, you may want to compromise by giving yourself a time limit and sticking to it. But, don't give him an ultimatum. Giving him a deadline often has the opposite effect you intend."

We Had the Talk …and we were totally on the same page, says Krista from Simmons College. "When my boyfriend and I decided to have the exclusivity talk it went really smoothly because we both were like, 'I like you and I'm not hooking up with other people. Let's just be together.' Not putting so much pressure on it made it so much easier and not awkward at all."

The "I Love You" Talk

You've been the first to say it to your parents, your friends, your dog, the random Starbucks barista on a particularly caffeine-necessary morning, yet you'd probably rather write a 20-page paper than be the first person to say I love you in a relationship. Rather than ignore the thought and wait until he says those three little words, take the plunge and let him know how you feel.

What to Say: After sharing with your guy that you love him, Cassidy suggests saying, "You don't have to say anything back. Really, it's fine. Just know that I love you!"

How to Deal: "Do not make your happiness contingent on him loving you back," says Olver. "Ask yourself the question, 'Am I saying I love him because I want him to know how I feel, or am I saying I love him because I want him to tell me he loves me too?' Saying you love him should be something you are doing for you because you want him to know how you feel. If you're saying it for a return response, you may be disappointed."

The "I Need Space" or "I Want to Break Up" Talk

Despite the fact you're asking for time away from your boyfriend, whether temporary or permanent, ending the relationship in a caring and respectable manner is important. On the other hand, if your relationship is in the process of ending on a not-so-nice note (think never wanting to talk to him again, throwing darts at his picture, ripping every memory of him to shreds), well, you can skip on down to the next talk.

What to Say: Cassidy suggests being completely honest and saying, "I've been having a lot of fun with you, but right now (insert reason here: I need time for myself, we should just be friends, I don't have time for a relationship, etc.)."

How to Deal: "If you are through with your relationship, it is kinder to be direct," says Olver. "Don't drag things out until he gets so frustrated, he dumps you! However, if you really do want some time to think, tell him that. Let him know what you are thinking about and how much time you may need. If this is someone you ever cared about don't string him along or send mixed signals. Free him to pursue other interests."

We Had the Talk…and it happened in stages, says Audrey from the University of Iowa. "I slowly told him I wasn't happy, that I needed more from him or else, and finally that I didn't want to be with him anymore. But, I wasn't sure so we took a break that consisted of me hooking up with other people and him still giving me the emotional benefits of being in a relationship. Finally, one day he got a new girlfriend which, in retrospect, he deserved and I deserved."

The "I'm Mad at You" Talk

After the initial honeymoon stage of your relationship wears off, a fight every now and then is inevitable. While you may be angry at something your guy did, kicking, screaming and breaking out into World War III will get you nothing but a noise complaint. Though your hopes and dreams of a fight-free relationship are being shattered, remember arguments are normal and, even more importantly, necessary.

What to Say: Cassidy suggests bringing it up by saying, "I don't want to make this a big deal, but something's been bugging me and I just wanted to talk to you about it before it turns into a bigger issue."

How to Deal: "Understand that your guy may have a totally different perception of the issue than you do. Approach the conversation with curiosity and an attempt to figure out where each other is coming from." Olver says. "Seek a solution that can work for both of you after each of you has heard the other person's point of view. There is no room for judgments or criticisms here; you are simply trying to understand each other and create a win/win/win solution where you win, he wins and your relationship grows stronger through the process."

The "I Did Something Wrong" Talk

It's never easy to fess up to doing something wrong. Whether small, like ripping his favorite sweater while rocking the "boyfriend" look, or large, like kissing another guy at a party, starting a conversation that you know probably won't end well can be next to impossible. Before you decide to overlook the entire incident and hope your boyfriend will never find out, think again. These things have a way of making themselves known sooner or later.

What to Say: Keeping the Band-Aid effect in mind (do it quickly and get it over with), Cassidy suggests saying, "I need to talk to you about something. But, before I do I just want you to know that I didn't mean to hurt you and it won't happen again, ok?"

How to Deal: "Be ready to face the consequences and remember that guys tend to process things internally," Olver says. He might be mad and not want to talk to you for a while so give him the space he needs to work it out. Once a few days have passed, if it takes that long, contact him to see where your relationship stands and respect his answer."

We Had the Talk…and it was a disaster, says Katrina*. "The talk was all my fault, which led to a blow up and a break up. It was a disaster and we both still love each other but we hurt each other very badly and don't know how to talk to one another about it effectively."

Three Things to Keep In Mind While Having Your Talk

Pick the Right Place

When approaching touchy subjects, be sure to do so in a private and quiet place where both you and your guy will feel comfortable. Yes, you may be royally pissed off at your boyfriend for checking out your best friend's butt two minutes ago at a party, but leave the situation alone until you leave.

Use Your Inside Voice

Unfortunately, many of us think if we yell, our point will be better understood. This is one hundred percent not true. If the conversation begins to get particularly heated, take a big breath, count to three and restart in a calmer voice.

Have a Goal in Mind

Much as you try to prepare for these conversations, they'll likely not go off exactly as planned. Nerves, special circumstances, and offbeat responses from your guy can throw a wrench in the conversation you'd perfectly scripted in your head. That being said, remember what you wanted to discuss going into the talk and try not to deviate too much from that topic.

So, It seems as if having a "talk" isn't as scary when you prepare yourself for the before, during, and after. We polled real college girls to see which of these conversations they'd be most nervous to have and here is what they said.

Which "talk" makes you the most nervous?

Sources:
*Names have been changed.
Kim Olver, lifestyle coach and author
Cassidy Quinn Brettler, Her Campus Real Live College Girl
Anonymous College Girls

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Show This to Your Guys: What Girls REALLY Want

We all know exactly what we look for in our significant others. Some girls, like Snooki, even have lists of specific qualities they look for in a guy. We may not all be looking for gorilla-juicehead guidos, but we know what we like: great smile, six-pack, well dressed… oh, and polite, straightforward, and capable of holding an intelligent conversation! That's not too much to ask, right? Of course not! The real problem is that although we know what we're looking for, guys don't always know what it takes to win our affection and be worthy of our time. And as you know, no girl should be with someone unworthy of her time. So boys, listen up while I lay it down. What we want is really quite simple; you just need to remember a few things:

Don't fart and laugh about it. I am not your bro.
Drowning yourself in cologne is not equivalent to a shower.
Your mother spent about ten years telling you to chew with your mouth shut – don't let her nagging go to waste.
No, I don't want to sit and watch while you play video games with your friends. At least offer me a controller!
Pull up your pants. Please?
Don't make any jokes about women and kitchens. If you do, I definitely won't be making you a sandwich.
Make a move, but not too many moves.
Don't ever drop the F-bomb in front of my parents. Even if they do it first.
Quoting "South Park" at every possible opportunity does not qualify as a sense of humor.
Please don't make your Facebook profile picture a cartoon. I don't want my friends to think I'm in a relationship with a Dragon Ball Z character.
Fine, keep your World of Warcraft account, just talk about something else over dinner.
Offer to pay for us sometimes, even if it's just for our coffee from Dunkin' Donuts.
Let us pay for things sometimes. Feminism can be fun for everyone!
Yeah, players are gonna play, but players are also going to be generally disliked by most women.
Ask me about ME! Why do so many men not get this?!
If you spend more time on your hair than I do, odds are we will not be living happily ever after.
Unless your first name is Pauly and your last name is D, stay away from the tanning salon.
The lacrosse pinney belongs on the lacrosse field, not in a bar on a Saturday night.
Whenever possible, avoid being a douchebag, an idiot, and a drama queen.
Be a part-time lover and a full-time friend.

In all seriousness, being Mr. Right is all about finding Miss Right, the person who has the same weird quirks as you and laughs at the same stupid jokes. But being polite, hygienic, happy, and socially capable are the main building blocks to any sort of attraction. So take off that dirty t-shirt, practice your smile and a few jokes, and then go out into the dating world and prosper.

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Real Live College Guy Joey: To-The-Point Answers to 4 New Questions About Texts, Sweaty Palms & FWBs

1. What are some signs that a guy is only interested in a hookup?
-Interested at Iowa

There are two simple guidelines when distinguishing between a "DTF" text and an "I'm interested in more than a low-down roll in the hay" message. Primarily, keep a lookout for the timing of said text messages. Men looking for a quick lay are likely to time those concise, brief, innuendo-laden texts for late at night. Secondly, as aforementioned, texts from guys looking solely for a "hook-up" will keep their messages brief and to the point. Some little gems can go the way of "Hey, wat r u up 2 l8r 2night?" (Unless they're writing majors…) or "We shud chill wen we're bak on campus." If any guy is going along the opposite route, a la texts/phone calls while Edward Cullen is fast asleep in bed (daytime) and seems genuinely interested in your day-to-day activities, rest assured that he wants more than a quick lay. As far as non-textual ways to spot guys solely interested in a hookup, be wary of any random acquaintance you encounter at weekend parties. If you meet someone you're genuinely interested in, avoid going home with him at the end of the night. Rather, give him your number and use the tried-and-true, "I'm really tired" excuse to see him during daylight hours instead.

2. Many of these questions are about getting guys to commit, but what if I want the opposite. I mean, I'm in college and don't really have time to date and would rather just a hook up every so often. How do you let a guy know, without sounding desperate or slutty, that hey, can we just be a FWB-kind-of-thing...?
-Just wanna have fun at James Madison

For the commitment-wary coed, or the just-too-busy-to-commit lass like yourself, a friendship with all the benefits of a relationship (or, FWB) is usually a free and easy way to get by during the stress of these college years we've found ourselves in. Take a cue from Miss Nat Portman's mistake in No Strings Attached (solid movie, she makes douche-lord Kutcher LIKEABLE) though, and avoid too many rules or logistics. A friends-with-benefits type of deal shouldn't be stressful. Honesty and clarity is key in this type of a scenario. You're clearly no whimpering recluse, so be upfront with any guy lucky enough to score this arrangement. Make it clear what you want out of the pseudo-relationship and things should move along swimmingly, regardless of what the PTA-run Hollywood machine has decided to tell us (Every single FWB movie ends up with… blegh, emotions). Lay your cards on the table; open dialogue isn't your enemy. Your (justified) concern of looking slightly slut-o-saurus should be assuaged by sheer honesty. By explaining that the addition of a relationship to your school and social commitments just isn't a possibility in your current situation, you could never be faulted for being "slutty."

3. My birth control costs $40 a month and as a poor college kid, it's getting really expensive to keep up with. Is it reasonable to ask my boyfriend to contribute some money to help pay for it? I'm already taking on the responsibility of having safe sex-should I have to shoulder the financial responsibility myself too?
-Broke at BU

Typically, girls are responsible for birth control while guys deal with the purchase of condoms. Typical, but certainly not absolutely. Your own personal carnal escapades notwithstanding, Broke at BU, if you're being as safe as possible (the magic pill AND condoms) then I don't see why your dude should have to pay some of your sexual expenses. However, if you're relying on birth control only… It isn't entirely out of the realm of possibility that he should have to pay some of the monthly allotment. I know that I'm being evasive, but a question like this isn't an umbrella-type of deal. Relationship dynamics are different for every couple, so while someone like ME may not find it ridiculous to pay some of your birth control pills (if their use is benefiting MY sexual pleasure, i.e., no condom), some guys may find it ludicrous. Approach this conversation like any other that you would while in a committed, (fingers-crossed) monogamous relationship. If you're not virgin to this column (I use the term loosely) then you'll know how fond I am of bullsh*t-free relationships. While I wouldn't suggest a "Listen dude, ante-up or the shop's closed" kind of deal, I'd wholeheartedly endorse a "Since we've forgone condoms in lieu of better sex, what are your thoughts on…"

4. I've had this genetic problem since I was young that makes my hands and feet sweat profusely. I know it's somewhat common, but it's always really embarrassing when a guy tries to hold my hand. I'm about to go on a third date with this guy and am wondering if I should address the sweaty elephant in the room or just hold his hand like nothing's wrong. Thoughts?
-Sweaty in Seattle

This certainly isn't an isolated incident. You're right! It's entirely common. A fool-proof way to prevent too much drippage is to do what I refer to as the casual-palm-over-the-pant/skirt/what-have-you before lacing those little fingers with your better half. If, however, the sweating persists (which is what I glean from your question) then be upfront. If the guy's a decent enough fellow he won't care that your palms and feet "sweat profusely." He may be hesitant to play slip and slide with you… But I don't foresee any guy being totally turned off or disgusted by something completely out of your control. If you find yourself strolling along some moonlit path one evening, don't broach the topic unnecessarily, wait until Prince Charming oh-so-casually reaches for your hand and proceed to laugh it off. A simple "my hands just get so damn sweaty, sometimes!" will suffice. It is far less serious a concern than you make it out to be.

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College Web of Hookups

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How to Avoid Spending Too Much Time With Your Boyfriend - Part 2

4. Guarantee that he has guy time
His friends may not be as open about it, but they probably miss him too. Guy nights are great for his social life and for yours! Tulane student and HC Campus Correspondent Catherine Combs and her boyfriend "set a rule that [they do] at least one night out or one day with [their] friends and not each other." While he's playing poker with his group, you can finish up homework or go out with your girlfriends. Spending time apart is just as important as spending time together.

5. Be up front with him
Chances are, you're not the only one slacking on responsibilities in this relationship. Talking about this time misplacement with your boyfriend is important, says Levine. "College is a wonderful time to meet new people and have experiences. You both would be missing out if you spent your time exclusively with each other," she adds. Make it clear how important your work is to you and he'll respect that (and if not, you know he's not worth dating!). If you're hoping to have a sleepover but know you'll be more inclined to go out to breakfast than to class after you wake up, stress to him the importance of your attending class. Talk to your boyfriend about practicing self-control with your relationship and decide together when you should spend time apart or with each other.

6. Already guilty?
For those girls who have already damaged the connection between them and their girlfriends, Levine suggests an honest apology. "Their friends know they dumped them and there's no getting around it," she notes. Admitting that you were wrong but are ready to make an effort is the best way to start fresh. "If they are really good friends they'll understand and be forgiving," Levine encourages.

Whether you decide to mimic those eventful Sex and the City brunches with your crew or entitle your boyfriend as a new study buddy, a new relationship doesn't mean that other friends and activities have to fall to the wayside. One of the many traits your boyfriend probably admires about you is your dedication to your friends and your passion for your extracurriculars, and these are most likely qualities you admire in yourself. It's important not to lose yourself in your relationship and spending too much together can do just that.

*Name changed to avoid offending a certain friend

Sources:
Irene S. Levine, PhD, Author, Best Friends Forever: Surviving A Break-Up With Your Best Friend