Getting What You Want, What You Really, Really Want: If you're in the market for a guy this semester, we've got the guide you need
Let's begin with a fact: you already know how to attract a guy. Guys, when it comes to girls, tend to be fairly simple creatures. Only a few stars have to align, and they almost always do: you're there, he's there, you're cute, he's cute, you're bored, he's drunk, hook, line, sink. To get a one-time-use guy is easy because (no offense, male readers) boys are easy. They've tried to trick you into thinking otherwise by referring to girls who get around as "sluts." Don't be fooled. After all, if guys on campus weren't putting out like crazy, a girl wouldn't be able to be slutty. Point is, you've got the how-to-get-a-hook-up thing down.
But you, HC all-stars, are smart and sexy and serious about your standards. Just because you could have any guy doesn't mean you want any guy. Which is why this guide isn't about how to win a boy over at a party (sidebar: to get a guy's attention at a party, exist in his line of vision for, like, .02 seconds)—it's about how to attract a man worth attracting. The best boys for the best girls. And who better to teach you how to score the greatest guys than the Disney Princesses? They practically invented happily ever after. Each has her own unique method to winning the heart of her beloved (see? Not just some rando. We're talking princes, people). By closely inspecting their successes—and recognizing their flaws—you too can learn how to have the boys you like flocking to your door like those little singing mice to Cinderella's aid.
A little mouth-to-mouth is one of Ariel's never-fail methods at getting a guy's attention.
Ariel
DO: Make the first move. So what if you haven't seen him up close? As the great cinematic masterpiece Can't Hardly Wait once said, fate only takes you so far. Go the distance, introduce yourself, dazzle him with your impossibly red hair. If that's not working, you might want to consider reconstructing your wardrobe so that you're half-naked all the time.
DON'T: sacrifice everything you know and everyone you love for a guy who decides he likes you only when you aren't able to talk. Not a good sign.
Belle sees right through the old "Want to get some fresh air?" trick, but is charmed nonetheless.
Belle
DO: Remember that the most popular guy is probably the most overrated. Sure, he might eat five dozen eggs every morning, have a deep, booming voice, and a chin dimple that reminds you of Mr. Schue from Glee, but it's entirely possible that he's also kind of a tool. Look around. Sometimes the secret to attracting a guy is choosing the right guy to attract in the first place. That super-scruffy loner in the corner? Probably has a sweet secret castle with singing household objects hiding in the woods. Or nice, clean off-campus digs.
DON'T: Forget to invest in a kickass princess dress for the big romantic moment. It's never too early to start thinking about formal.
Jasmine was pretty impressed with Aladdin's magic carpet ride, but she still thought he was getting a little touchy-feely for a first date. Also that he looked kind of stoned.
Jasmine
DO: Scope out the other side of the tracks once in a while. Just because you're, say, in a sorority doesn't mean you can't date outside the Greek system. Even if you're a princess and he's a street rat, or you're a senior and he's a freshman, you can still find common ground, maybe on a carpet somewhere. Seriously, do not neglect the freshmen boys. Why should senior guys have all the fun preying on the young and naïve? Have at it, girls.
DON'T: Be so caught up in your own world that you fail to recognize your guy once he puts on a different hat. That could be awkward come graduation.
Even though she saw his crazy-eyes, Mulan knew that his anger was just sexual tension in disguise. Ow owww!
Mulan
DO: Show off your not-so-girly skills. Are you a beer pong champion? A master flip cup competitor? The greatest guitar hero since Jimi Hendrix? Embrace the Robin Scherbatsky Rule: as long as you look hot, no one will ever mistake you for one of the boys.
DON'T: Cut off all your hair just to prove yourself—unless you really do look better with short hair. No need to get all Little Women just to show how badass you are.
It was only after accepting his proposal that Cinderella realized she only knew Prince Charming's last name. Oops! Good thing he's hot/has that awesome castle.
Cinderella
DO: Ignore any and all catty frenemies who try to tell you a guy you like is out of your league. Have you already forgotten how this article began? Go back and read that first paragraph one more time. If you are a girl and he is a boy who likes girls, you are more than halfway there.
DON'T: Marry him after spending only one night together—no matter how good he is in bed. That's not romantic; it's just impulsive decision-making at its worst.
