Women Campus | Hello beautiful!: Ambiguous Valentine's Day: How to Handle a Valentine's Day That Isn't Official

It's Valentine's weekend, and you're sitting at home wondering what to do. One of your roommates is out to dinner with her boyfriend of a year-and-a-half. Your other roommate is out seeing the movie "Valentine's Day" with a group of fiercely single gals. And you're not quite sure what you're supposed to be doing. There's this new guy in your life, but nothing is "official." He hasn't expressed if he "likes you likes you" Hey Arnold style yet, but you've been "hanging out," or "talking," or whatever you want to call it. Should you invite him out for a romantic night on the town? Or should you continue to sulk in your pj's? The answer: NEITHER!

"In that situation, I waited for the guy to make the first move," says sophomore at James Madison University Emilie Swift. "He ended up giving me a gift, so I told him I left his at home and rushed home to make it." Situations like this highlight the almost painful uncertainty of the situation as you try (and fail) to anticipate what the other party will do.

But awkwardness can extend beyond gift-giving. Sophomore Kathryn Sullivan actually went on an ambiguous date on Valentine's Day.

"Last Valentine's Day my Valentine was a guy I had met on campus," says Sullivan. "We went on a double dinner date with his roommate and roommate's girlfriend. We had never been out on a date, and Valentine's Day was a first date... SO awkward! He had bought me a stuffed animal, some candy, and a flower. It was really sweet, but he gave it to me in front of his roommate. I felt like I had an audience. I felt pressure to react like I was really happy, but I pretty much spent the entire night performing because I was so uncomfortable. So FYI, unless you're really into a guy, Valentine's Day as your first date... BAD idea." Yikes. Point taken.

So why is Valentine's Day so awkward for those not in an official relationship? Well how is it NOT awkward?! Maybe you want to get your guy a card. But first off, what are you supposed to say? How do you not have a romantic Valentine's card? Does Hallmark make non-romantic Valentine's cards? Here's an idea: make your own card! If you don't want to be too personal, you could make a cute e-card or draw a funny cartoon of the two of you hanging out and be sure to make it comical, you don't want to send him the wrong signals.

But what are the right signals? That's the hardest part of the Ambiguous Valentine's Day, knowing if he's interested in you too. Maybe you can figure that out on a date! His body language can be a big tip off.

Tracey Cox, author of the book SuperFlirt, has some tips on how to tell if a guy is into you or not. Cox says that a guy is into you if:

His eyebrows rise and fall or he gives you an "eyebrow flash"
His nostrils flare
His lips part
He strokes his tie
He smoothes or messes up his hair
He messes with his socks
He stands with his hands on his hips
He plays with the buttons on his jacket
He's perched on the edge of his seat
He guides you by putting his arm on your elbow or in the small of your back

Hmm ok. So you think he likes you. What's next? If you're brave enough to actually ask your potential guy out on a date, make sure it's nothing cheesy like a candlelit dinner; do something fun! Jennifer Jackson of Marie Claire magazine has some tips for fun first dates. Here are my top 5 favorites:

Cornfield Maze — Get the blood pumping running through a maze. It's a fun way to spend the day, who cares how long it takes? Take a hayride after while sipping on some hot apple cider. It's romantic while not obvious. Visit cornmazedir.com to find one in your area.
Comedy Club — Nothing gets to a guy's heart like his funny bone. Show him you have a sense of humor by taking him to see the best stand up comedy in the area.
Amusement Park — Maybe he'll win you a giant stuffed bear! Spend the day riding rollercoasters, getting your caricature drawn, and eating cotton candy. You'll never run out of things to do and maybe he'll hold your hand in the haunted house!
Farmer's Market — There's always something to find from fresh fruit to knick-knacks. It's a new way to shop that won't bore him to tears!
Go Carts — You can bump into him, literally. Go Carts can be a fun way to flirt! Just make sure you give in a little love tap and not a shove.

So don't sulk around just because a fat little cherub in a toga didn't shoot you with an arrow this Valentine's Day. Go out there and find your (potential) Prince Charming!

Sources:
http://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/advice/tips/romantic-first-date-ideas Emilie Swift, Class of 2012, James Madison University
Kathryn Sullivan, Class of 2012, University of Tennessee

Photos:
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