When Girls' Night Out Goes Bad: How to Handle Your Dangerously Drunk Friends - Women Campus
More than a year ago, I received a phone call from a friend. He had left my dorm about an hour before the phone call to go to another friend’s birthday party. In that time he had downed 12 shots before campus police came to break up the party.
Scared and disoriented he fled the scene to a location about five minutes from our dorm. That’s when he called me. Temperatures were below freezing and even though he had lived in this area for half a year, he couldn’t remember how to get home. I walked him home and took him up to my room. He began to shiver and proceeded to throw up for the next hour. My roommate and I became concerned because our friend didn’t even know where he was.
We decided to call our RA who knew him well. After awhile, we decided to take him to the hospital. Riding in the front seat of the ambulance, listening to him screaming my name is still one of the most horrible experiences I’ve ever had to endure.
Luckily, my friend was ok. He didn’t have alcohol poisoning but was diagnosed with acute alcohol intoxication. He wasn’t sent to court because this was a first offense, and thankfully he wasn’t angry at me, but grateful. After hearing some other horror stories, this was definitely an ideal situation given the circumstances.
But not all girls my age have been as lucky as I was that night when dealing with a drunken friend. The World Health Organization (WHO) estimates that excessive alcohol consumption results in deaths of around 1.8 million people each year—and that’s why I’m here. Not to preach about the dangers of drinking, but to offer advice for those horrible nights when your friends take it too far. Sure, every situation is different, but hopefully the following girls’ stories, some health tips and advice from an expert can help when you find yourself in a sticky (and scary) situation.
Scenario 1: The Incoherent Blackout Drunk
This can sometimes be the scariest kind of drunk. She’s the one who can barely stand up on her own. College of Charleston junior Delanie Dolan has had experience with this kind of girl.
“When I went on Spring Break, my friends were all drinking and one of them got extremely drunk off of Captain Morgan all day,” remembers Dolan. “When we got back from the beach, I noticed she was making another drink, and I realized that if she had another she would be black out status. So as she was taking a shower I switched her drink but made it look like the same color as her old one, but it was nonalcoholic and she thought she was still drinking. I fixed the problem before she got to black out. After she went to sleep I made sure she stayed on her stomach and checked her breathing every 30 minutes.”
Girls, it’s vital that you check in on your friends. Paige Hawkins is the Associate Director of James Madison University Health Center’s Substance Abuse Prevention Program. She says that in the past few years the center and many other studies have found blackouts to be a regular part of the college drinking culture. “It’s just so scary, and oftentimes someone who has experienced a blackout is just as freaked out about it as you are, they just don’t always express it. Try talking to your friend once they’ve sobered up about this problem, because it can be a sign of risk,” explains Hawkins.
The University of California Davis Student Health Center says that for the most part, girls our age should only consume one drink per hour. This isn’t realistic on a college campus where many students are known to take multiple shots or chug beers in a short amount of time. Do your best to keep an eye on your friend and try to slow her down if she’s taking it too far. If it’s too late and she’s already very drunk, you must be constantly checking on your friend a minimum of every five to ten minutes.
If your friend has actually blacked out, make sure to check her breathing, waking her to make sure she isn’t unconscious. Make sure you don’t give her any food, liquid, medicine or drugs to sober her up—it won’t. And contrary to popular belief, a cold shower is not a good solution. The shock of the cold water could send her into unconsciousness.
In this situation the best bet is the safe one; make sure you get your friend to a medical professional as soon as possible.
Another problem you face with a blackout drunk is that her lack of inhibitions could make her more inclined to be sexually promiscuous, in a bad way. If your friend has been talking to this sketchy guy all night and is overly intoxicated, she could make some terrible decisions that could lead to STDs, pregnancy or cheating on a significant other.
Virginia Tech junior Addie Jones has had to deal with some of these situations and offers this advice:
“You just have to step in,” she says. “Just so they don’t go home with someone they don’t want to go home with. You have to be there to say no and be like, come home with me. Anytime they can barely stand up and are talking to some random dude, that’s when you know it’s too far.”
This can be a very uncomfortable situation. But just imagine how your friend would feel the next day if you didn’t step in. Including another guy friend in this can help in case your friend’s intended partner gets angry.
Scenario 2: The Belligerent, Angry, Embarrassing Drunk
Another college girl, who chose to remain anonymous, has definitely had to deal with this form of a drunken friend. Her friend would do some rude and humiliating things whenever she drank too much. This became even more of a problem when she ended up living with this friend one year.
“She got in a fight with our neighbors, calling them ‘cheap Jews’ even though she is Jewish, which made them really mean to us. She also got mad one night at our other roommate and wanted to drag me in the fight. She woke me and my boyfriend up and started screaming at me to come take her side. I was mortified. She had no recollection of it in the morning. Not until she got a DUI and got a citation for an open container did she stop to really analyze her drinking behavior and stop. Continually, I’d tell her to not drink so much and how much she hurt me when she drank...she didn't seem to care.”
While this source struggled with her friends’ problem, she still offered some suggestions.
“Sit down with your friend the morning after and explain to her what she did and then how you feel about it. At some point your friend should get a wake up call that her behavior is unacceptable. If that doesn't work, threaten that you can't go out with her any more because she causes unnecessary drama and is hurtful to you. If that isn't a wakeup call, she's a bad friend.”
And that’s the hardest part. Most often your actions can’t help your friend see when she’s taking it too far. Your friend has to figure this out on her own. While you can suggest she talk to someone at mental health services or counseling services on campus, whether or not she chooses to is ultimately her decision.
Scenario 3: The Sick Friend
She’s puking and won’t leave the party. This is definitely not the night you had planned. Hawkins suggests you remain calm and trust your instincts.
“Remember that you might have to be a babysitter which may include medical attention,” she says. “From the moment your friend begins vomiting you should start to consider taking him or her to the hospital. That should be the first indicator of a severe problem.”
Whatever you do always remember that it’s better to be safe than sorry. If your friend is getting sick, that means that her body is physically rejecting its contents. You might need to call another friend in to help with the situation. This friend needs to be sober and have a means of transporting your sick friend to the hospital if necessary.
University of Central Arkansas sophomore Sarah Cain had a horrible weekend last Easter. She agreed to be the designated driver for her friend who proceeded to get “drunker than a skunk.”
“Even though she was hanging out of a guy's car puking her guts out, she didn't want to leave the party to go back to our dorm; which is beyond me,” says Sarah. “So therefore I proceeded to scream and yell at her for embarrassing me saying that she's being ridiculous and putting me in a horrible position. By this time it was about 2 a.m. So, I leave, drop off my other friends at their humble abodes, and go back to the party only to find my roommate, throwing up, crying, with only a bra and shorts on. She then apologized for being ‘an embarrassment’ and then said she wanted to go home. So tip number one: never yell at your drunk friends because it will make you feel guilty later. She was so drunk that she couldn't get up. So, I had to have one of my guy friends carry her to my car. Tip number two: always have guy friends around when your friend needs to be carried. Tip number three: have the proper equipment for people that are puking. On the drive back, she was puking into a cup. Good plan because she could hold it directly to her mouth.”
We react in the heat of the moment and every friend and every situation is different. Just make sure that you keep a level head and understand that to ensure your friend’s safety, you may not be having the evening you had hoped for. Understand that it’s very difficult to reason with someone who has been drinking so when you’re in that situation, you may have not only have to get creative, but you’ll also have to step up to the plate and be the adult. Just remember that it’s better to be safe than sorry.
Also, consult your school’s Handbook to find out whether your university has an amnesty policy, which means you will never get in trouble for getting help for a friend who needs it. Most universities have a policy like this in place, because their first priority is the safety of their students.
Sources
Delanie Dolan, College of Charleston, Class of 2012
The University of California Davis Student Health Services, http://healthcenter.ucdavis.edu/
Paige Hawkins, Associate Director, James Madison University’s Health Center’s Substance Abuse Prevention Program
Addie Jones, Virginia Tech, Class of 2012
Sarah Cain, University of Central Arkansas, Class of 2013
